So as you’ve been reading on my blog I had a break up. Now I am one, a female and two, an overly emotional female. So when I love -I love hard. When I lose-it’s a hard L. That is how God wired me and I think he did that for a reason-it was intentional because I am very passionate about people and that is just a gift he gave me.
However, this is not exactly what I am wanting to blog about today. I want to talk more about letting go. For whatever reasons you have to let go of someone or a situation-that is my focus. In my own life right now, I am going through this break up. And I was so convinced this guys was my guy. I was so convinced we were on the same train going in the same direction. I was so in love and ready to just be a great wife to him and be partners through this life-because we know life is not easy.
We went from in love, admired by others because of our love, a light to other people to a total demise of our relationship. Here I am. I wanted to work out our issues. I wanted to show him I could change. But that isn’t what he wanted. And between all the things he promised and put hope in me about-it is so very hard to let go of the concept of “no more him”. No more casino nights. No more sunrises together. No more reading the bible and growing together. No more good morning kisses or coffee made specially by him. No more keeping me safe. I wasn’t his “precious”. I was and I still am devastated.
I begged for him back. I did. I told him I would change. I have my set of issues and I was aware I was just leaning on him way to much in this season. And he finally broke and he rightfully walked away.
I tell you this because this is one of the very hardest things to do-let go of our pasts. I loved this guy will all of my heart. I wasn’t perfect-I had my flaws-but I was willing to keep pushing and keep faith and try to get back where we were. He didn’t want to at all. He didn’t want me anymore. The thought of this made no sense to me and it drove me crazy. I begged for him back even though I would essentially be in a relationship alone.
But I had and still have to let go. If we hold onto the past-the things that die, then how can God bring us into a thriving future? Moving on-in any experience can be very scary and nobody likes the unknown. However, sometimes God has to reposition us to get the blessing we’ve been waiting for-the one he’s been wanting and waiting to give us. Moving on from our past is an expression of our trust in the Lord. It is acting in faith. It is showing him you will follow wherever he goes and he wants that extent of obedience from us. There is a story about Peter, and he was in the boat with some of the other disciples and they couldn’t catch any fish. Jesus then told them to cast the net on the other side of the boat. Peter obeyed and when the net came up there were so many fish in his net that it was going to break. Jesus could have just put the fish in the boat for them. He could have handed it to them. He could have made the fish flop into the boat-who knows. But what is interesting is God didn’t allow that. God was looking for Peter’s obedience. Would he flip to the other side and trust? He did and he received overflow.
We have to obediently move from our past intentionally to be lead into our future. Sometimes (most times) we don’t have a clue what God is doing. That is why we want to hold unto what we know. Toxic relationships. Unhealthy coping mechanisms. Anger. The continuation of generational curses. All these things, we could be the person in our family that says enough is enough-I’m breaking this chain. But we have to let our past go.
Your past is full of seasons. And I’m talking about seasons of situations, trials, and victories. I think when we really understand this concept we realize things are not all that complicated. Hard? Yes. But trust in God that and that all the wonderful things he says he has for you are true! They are! But you can’t be on one side of the bridge wanting to be on the other side, and not move toward it. You’ll have to leave the side of the bridge you’re on behind.
Maybe God closed a door. And you’re just still standing at the door hoping it opens again, just like I did with my ex. But God closed it for a reason. There is a reason that isn’t going to make sense to us right now on why things fall apart and why we don’t get our way. When a plan doesn’t work out. God has so much for you. He closes doors to open bigger and better ones, and one to a purpose and path and to him. But the old can’t stay. Maybe you were indulging in a cheeseburger when he has a Ruth steak waiting for you? Which one is better for your body? Which one holds more value? The steak. So let’s leave our cheeseburgers in the past, and wait for God to cook up that steak in his perfect timing.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”