Learn to forgive.
It’s not for “them”, it’s for you. Somethings are easier to forgive and then there those situations where it goes beyond what simply transpired or what was said, but it cuts real deep and leaves scars.
In either event not forgiving in any situation holds you back-not the person you are grudging on. So what is the benefit to us-the people who feel so betrayed that we can’t bring ourselves to forgive. We don’t feel like it. Or we may feel like that person doesn’t deserve it. May even be experiencing feelings of resentment and retaliation. This is why we have to forgive. Even if we’ve never heard a sorry.
Why give the betrayer that kind of control over your state of mind? Why let them change you as a person and have you suffer, meddling in the deep pains of your scars? That’s not fair to you. And the other party isn’t being affected-it’s only affecting you.
I been through it. I had to learn to really let go and let God in this area of my life. My pain was deep, and it was nothing like I experienced before. The events that led me to unforgiveness for so long, changed me as a person. I was nasty and resentful. I couldn’t make up my mind if I wanted to forgive this person, but after seeing a monster come out of me when they were brought up-I knew I had to. I also knew that forgiveness was central to my faith and that God granted me freedom through forgiveness-and I was called to do the same thing to anyone who wronged me.
Forgiveness was not something I felt. It started with me deciding I don’t want those feelings of hurt and resentment anymore. I didn’t want someone else to influence me in that manner. I wanted to grow. Forgiveness is deciding to start the releasing and healing process. My hurt and negative feelings didn’t just dissipate-but the decision to forgive opened the door for my healing. It was me releasing this person and by doing that, releasing myself from the grip of resentment as well.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean I have to let this person back into my life- I created boundaries for this person that I was comfortable with. It doesn’t mean I had to trust them. Trust takes time to build. However forgiveness in granted in an instant because it is a choice to let go.
I just want to leave you with this thought. The story of Jesus is a story of grace and forgiveness. We get to live in freedom because he forgives us freely-it’s a gift. In the same manner, he did this so that we can forgive each other. He paid the biggest price and he was hurt and ridiculed in the worst way possible just so we can walk in freedom of our wrong doings. Our sins-and not just against God, but when we hurt his people as well. We are called to model this to one another. Remember it’s not a feeling, it’s a choice. Jesus chose to forgive.
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.