A running response in the conversations I have been having lately pertains to my seemingly lack of confidence in what I plan for my future. While the other person has conveyed this as a negative attitude, I couldn’t disagree more.
Meet Galila 5 years ago. I lived fast, I angered even more quickly, and I was that type of hard headed individual that unknowingly rejected wisdom, and instead had my own experiences and entrusted to my own intellect and understanding. I had that momentary living mind state-far contrary to the faith-based living I claimed to be pursing.
It isn’t a lack of confidence my peers are detecting in my words-in fact, I have the most confidence in my future than I have ever had in my life. It is the uncertainty of how the events in my life will unfold as I approach a bright future. This uncertainty, let me be clear doesn’t elicit fear in any capacity, instead it instills a sense of faith and peace.
I have always had a vision for my future-I knew I wanted it a certain way, and that still is the case, however what has changed is the attitude I hold in the moments leading up to my future. Where I invest my confidence has changed, yes, because before I let the unfolding of life events around me influence my view on how bright (therefore maybe how dark) my future would be. In other words, my confidence, I let it be defined in moments. I let a bad event, or hurtful people (also those who pumped my ego) shrink or enlarge my confidence in how the future would hold up.
When you hear me start off with “I think”, or “Maybe”, or ending my sentences with “not sure”-I am actually really delighted in this refined attitude. To me, it reflects the fact that I have no idea how, what we are talking about is going to affect me right now, but I am sure it is not going to ultimately effect where I am going. It is a shift from momentary living- investing my confidence in those moments alone and the moments I ensue thereafter-to faith-based living- the attitude in which I understand, hey I don’t really know how my life is going to twist and which way it will turn, but I invest my confidence in my faith-not in those things I currently see.
The “lack of confidence” peers have been detecting in my voice is actually, nowadays, Galila slowing down, processing the moments, but not letting myself draw conclusions based off of the results in those moments, or the perspective perceived in those moments. It is me being fully aware of the simple fact that life can be hurtful-and life might bring forth painful days, but my future-it is not defined by those days.
Momentary living does not look beyond the moments-whether good or bad-it moves on moment by moment, letting the moments define what will happen next or what you choose to ensue. Faith-based living however, finds its hope beyond each moment-trying it’s best to peer into the unforeseen promises of eternity.
I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life